Free At Last

Past…

            My heart races so fast whenever I see him. I don’t even know what to do or what to think; I am just losing my entire mind when I’m facing him. I lose all my calm; I just don’t know what to do.

 

Present…

            My heart beats normally when I finally see him. I do know now what to do in front of him. Not even losing my mind or my calm. I just simply and normally face him knowing what I shall do.

 

Past…

            I always settled myself to with him, so eager to see him. Near to him. Focus my entire attention only to him. I am crazy to be with him as always.

 

Present…

            I always end up not meeting him, crazily not wanted him elsewhere. I focus only to myself and only myself. Not even thinking of him whenever he is not around. I am happy on my own.

 

Past…

            I am so sad, so lazy and so mad if I don’t see him. I just wanted to run the clock so that our time will be finally got close. Just to be with him no matter what. I just want this gray color gone out of my sight.

 

Present…

            I am so full life, happy and contented without him by my side. My days never been so dull, it is more of a rainbow with an end of true happiness and freedom for me. I am simply enjoying alone without him.

 

Past…

            The way he talks, the way he smile, the way he takes care of me or rather every single little thing he did for me make my heart floats with so much happiness and contentment. Makes me so excited whenever we meet, I even wanted our time to be extend for more.

 

Present…

            The way he talks, the way he smile, the way he takes care of me or rather every single little thing he did for me feels like I am suffocating. I don’t know but I don’t want any of his attention anymore. I just simply want him to be an acquaintance and nothing more.

 

Past…

            Freedom, what is it mean to me? I just too focus that I really don’t know if I am free or maybe I am not…? I know how busy he was but he always makes time even though it took me a lot of waiting. He just simply run towards me and always said with a smile, ‘I am here.’ That makes my heart races but I know deep within me there is something wrong. Something is missing that I ignore.

 

Present…

            Freedom, at past I don’t know what it is mean. But right now, I already know even from the past I already know. There is something wrong but I am just blinded with this so called ‘love’ that I am already losing my own self. I am lost, yes and it was before. Now I am not and I can say ‘I’m free at last!’.

 

Jr.