Oh, My! Oh, My!

Oh, my soul... my soul...

How could I ever give you peace?
How could I ever give you calmness?
How could I ever give you happiness?
How could I ever give you ease?

Oh, my heart... my heart...

Why you're always in pain?
Why you're always in sorrow?
Why you're always in flow?
Why you're always in drain?

Oh my... oh my...

What a person you are?
What a body you have been?
What a human you have seen?
What a soul you bare?

...Oh, my heart! Oh, my soul! ...
... Always hiding deep within depths! ...
... Oh, my heart! Oh, my soul! ...
... Always hiding deep within paths! ...

... j. r. ...

Having Doubt (Despite His just there as always.)

Why I kept dreaming of Him?

Why I'm still feeling Him?
While my whole self is in the dark.

He still there letting me know His there

He still always at my back knowing His there,

Just there to guide and protect me.

When the truth I'm not really worth for it!

When I know to my self I'm a bad person that proves it!

Because I let my self live in the darkness still His there.

His always there for me and for my soul

His always there ready to save and protects me and my soul,

Even if my soul is already deep within the dark.

I couldn't explain these feelings I feel

I wouldn't know what else to think and feel,

Am I really worth seeing Him? As I ask.

I'm afraid! Too much afraid

I'm lost! That I hardly to find my self that I"m afraid,

Even though He's there and know all my fears.

It may be ridiculous to be afraid

It may be kind of weird to feel afraid,

But it is what I feel even though His there each of my life.

Each time I thought of Him... He ease my pain

Each time He showed up Him self to me... I feel no pain,

Why His like that? I asked... because His kind and wise one? I asked.

So kind that I don't know if I worth it?!

So kind that warms my heart though I feel I'm not worth it...!

But deep within my heart and soul... He's been living there somewhere.

Yes! I'm doubting my self!

Yes! I'm still regretting Him to my self!

But deep within, I love that I could feel Him beside me always.

...

...

...

I thy God, creator of all...

Thanking for all the guidance and protection you've been given us....

Amen.

...

...

...

Jr. Rs.

Making Her...

...

...

Making her smile,

Makes me feel so happy.

...

Making her mad,

Makes her more beautiful into my eyes.

...

Making her feel secure,

Makes me feel so proud protecting her.

...

Making her jealous,

Makes me feel so sorry.

...

Making her surprises,

Makes me feel so glad and thankful she likes it.

...

Making her sad,

Makes my heart hurt that pains.

...

Making her alone,

Makes me feel so sad that parts.

...

Making her cry,

Makes my self and my heart break into pieces.

...

Making her smile and loves her from afar,

Is the best thing I could do...

...

His in Her Dreams

Who you really are?

Why I couldn't see you clearly?

Even if you're so near?

So easy to reach that so dearly?

Still I haven't see you longer to stare.

Though deep down my heart,

I knew who you really are,

I am only scared to fear,

If I finally learn who you are,

So I let you be in my dreams that part.

When I'm in my real world...

You were there at my dreams...

Trying those two be collide...

Be memories that last till it gleams...

Making each other be mold.

There would be lots of questions.

Lots of mind tricks to unfold.

That so stiff that needs a guide.

Be careful that needs to be hold.

And choose where to land in right options.

...JR...

B O R I N G

...

...

B lend of different emotions...

...

O ver and over thoughts in mind...

...

R esources bigger and bigger...

...

I nitiate things that so full...

...

N othing else to create...

...

G athering information that so empty...

...

...

B O R I N G in small word in one,

So much boring that feels from the inside.

...

jr.

Selfish

Doing what they really wanted

Does not care of the others,

Always making things as they wanted

Moving without thinking better to others.

Just thinking one and only one selves

Do not worry about someone else,

So dense to others but not to them selves

Making things as what they want and nothing else.

That is their lives as a selfish

Worry nothing but only them selves,

Not even knowing they were selfish

Because it is them stays thinking them selves.

((:::

.jr.

Dream To End

:(

... ... ...

Once again his in her dream

Seeing him was too impossible,

But still he came into her dream

So hard to be true nor be possible.

:(

... ... ...

He is just sitting like that

Looking at her without a blink,

Feeling as if his not gone like that

Nothing to expect that could link.

:(

... ... ...

Still he looks so far from her

Looks so dark even though his near,

His trying to look straight at her

But still she couldn't see him that fear.

:(

... ... ...

And just like before it would end

Dreams would not hold for so long,

Night would end so soon as dream end

And only memories would left to belong.

:(

... ... ...

Once more she will lose him

He is gone before and even now,

She couldn't do anything to hold him

And all her want is to be with him till grow.

... ... ...

jr

Guilty Pain

A heart with full of hopes

Covers all the pain it feels,

Trying to beat in normal stage

Even if coping in strange guilt.

A guilt trying to tied up of ropes

Covers of blood in wound that peels,

Trying to hide it and change

Even if smiling is hard to built.

:(

jr.

Love, Romance, Feelings!

<3

Hay! What a love?!

Hardly to describe

Even hardly to figure,

It just came unexpectedly

Without any warnings,

Too much dangerously

And very soundings.

<3

Hay! What a romance?!

Even if you don't like

Still feels like to dike,

Wanting to experience

Even if will hurt first,

Still keeping in sense

That feels so thirst.

:)

Hay! What a feelings?!

Too much shocking

Too much shaking,

Wanting it to stop

Still coming too fast,

Swinging fast in slop

That won't last.

<3

j.r.

In Depths

...

How deep are you?

Would anybody goes within it?
Can anyone explain the depth they seen in you?

Why so sudden depth filled you?

Who may able to go down on it?

What happened in the end of it?
When exactly to start to go through?

Where was the depth pointing out?

May you able to take courage going deep?

Or you're thinking  you may lost in darkness?

...

.j. .r.

Save Me

A heart full of miseries

Never been lack by crying

A silently crying that carries

Never fail to hurting.

Aching so deeply low

Crushing a heart badly

Aching sadly that blow

Crushing into pieces slowly.

Till tears turns blood

Flowing like madness

Till feeling got bold

Flowing without gladness.

:(

j. r.

Hiding From A Mask

A face that easy to see...

A face that easy to stare...

A face that easy to judge...

A face that easy to face...

You may see beautiful and pretty faces

You may see happy and glad faces,

You may see serious and joker faces

You may see handsome and cute faces.

Still they were all hiding from a mask

Still they were all fake behind the mask,

Still they were all hurting through the mask

Still they were all facing with a mask.

... j. r. ...

Sadness

:(

:(

Sadly to say

Things get bad,

Getting even worst

Begins to rough,

Changes into gray

That feels mad,

Until things frost

And lost tough.

:(

Even to hear

Still keeping deaf,

Even to see

Still keeping blind,

That makes tear

Till lost leaf,

And falls glee

Until sadness bind.

:(

Be Forget... Let Go... Move On...

... ... ...?

Who could not be forget?

Who could not let go?
Who could not move on?

It was our selves...

It was our memories...
It was our past...

What about our future?
What about our present?
What about our lives?

If no one of us be forget...
If no one of us let go...
If no one of us move on...

What would happen?
What would change?
What would come?

Hard to weight?
Hard to decide?
Hard to think?

Still why we see each other?
Still why we end up dreaming?
Still why we keep searching through?

From different place...
From different cities...
From different world...

Trying to be together!
Trying to be one!
Trying to be forever!

Even if we know the real thing...?
Even if we already accept the truth...?
Even if we clearly see the future...?

Still we both not facing it!
Still we both ignores it well!
Still we both dreaming each other!

That hard to be forget...!
That hard to let go...!
That hard to move on...!

... ... ...!

Changes!

... ... ...

 

There are things not the same

The things that we usually do

Seems changes even we don't intend

Even if we don't plan it

Still we couldn't stop to change

Be more responsible and practical

Though it was hard from the start

We still have to go on the flow

 Learn to accept the whole truth

Try not to force our selves to forget

Let just do our things separately.

... ... ...

The Sea of Clouds

From the above of all land

Seeing such a mysterious sight,

Wonderful floating above the ground

Showing a wide side from light.

Such mysterious creation from heavenly

A breath taking sight to watch,

Floating so calm and gracefully

In a full and lightly batch.

Wide blue like an ocean above

With white floating cotton like,

So soft and light as it move

Floats freely that hard to dislike.

Watching it is like seeing a sea

So huge and wide open water,

That wants to be in as plea

Be nearer as wanted that matter.

... j. r. ...

Losing Right

Sometimes you could not think of the right

That may able to block the darkness within,

Where you may able to see the brightest light

That enlighten the right path from within.

Hoping to seek light from the darkness

Even though it would be hard to find,

Still seeking and searching to find the brightness

Although it would be very difficult to find.

Allowing to travel for beyond no one

Until right things losing up to seek,

And things get wrong so badly till lone

Going all alone in the dark till nothing to seek.

The Nightfall: She - Wattpad

The Nightfall: She - Wattpad

I...

I let my self live in fears,

Letting my heart be drown into tears.

I let my self befall deep in sorrow,

Letting my soul be in dark even morrow.

I let my self down that felt so dump,

Letting my mind be full that pump.

I let my self lost that hard to found,

Letting my body be in motion of hound.

I let my self fall down from nowhere,

Letting my spirit went through to elsewhere.

I let my self drop low that part,

Letting my dreams crash down so dart.

I let my self drain out till numb,

Letting my brain feels nothing but dumb.

My Shadow

We were been together for so long

We were been each other since start

We were been living each days together,

We were never been apart for so long

We were never left each other from start

We were never deny we were together.

Each passing days we shared actions

Each passing moments we made laugh

Each passing memories we were together,

Each days we live in more actions

Each moments we enjoy it to laugh

Each memories we created it together.

Walking side by side whenever light came

Walking silently each days that pass by

Walking alone as they look still I'm with you,

Walking together till the night falls came

Walking quietly each hours that pass by

Walking solely as they look still I'm with you.

... ... ...